My reluctance stems from a number of things. First, I'm a shy person, and walking into a group of strangers, introducing myself and making small talk (even if it's about my favourite topic, Laura) would take me outside of my comfort zone. Second, I've been extraordinarily busy since the birth of my daughter, and the thought of adding mothers' group to our weekly schedule makes me exhausted. And third, I find that the questions and concerns I have about Laura are different from those of the new mums I've spoken to. I love hearing other people's stories, no matter how different from mine, but I worry others won't relate to me.
For instance, a recent question of mine was: how much solids does a six-month-old need? Other than during the initial few days when she was getting used to eating these strange new substances, Laura didn't show signs that she was full (clamping her lips shut, turning her head, losing interest). However, she was eating what appeared to be extremely large portions for one so small. Whereas other mums have concerns about how to entice fussy eaters, my concern was whether I was missing her cue that she had eaten enough. Eventually, a childcare nurse gave us an answer that made sense to us: to keep offering her food until she did show signs of being full, and that some babies can eat almost as much as an adult.
I've recently started catching up with a new mum and her little girl who is a couple of weeks younger than Laura. From our first couple of meetings, it appears we have a few things in common. Similar age. First child. Returning to work soon. Bad morning sickness (ah, creates an instant bond). We've both travelled overseas with our little ones. Of course, there are differences, and her experience over these first seven months has been the polar opposite of mine, but I feel that we've clicked.
What I like the most about this new friendship is how our little ones interact with each other. Because they are a similar age they are in a similar place developmentally, and can each "hold their own", for want of a better way of explaining it. During our last visit, they were both facing each other, Laura on her tummy, her new friend sitting up, and they took it in turns to reach out and touch the other's face. Cute, yes. But also interesting, when you think about it. Laura has play dates with children who are much older and much younger than her, but these seem a little one-sided at her age (she's either more interested or not interesting enough, depending on whether her companion is younger or older). Don't misunderstand me, though — the age difference will become negligible soon enough, and I think it's fantastic that Laura has friends of all different ages.
It's seeing Laura making friends with children her age that has made me reconsider my misgivings about how I'll fit into a mothers' group. Joining a group won't so much be for me as for her. Now that she's getting to the age where she can and wants to interact with children, I'd like to give her that opportunity. She tags along on my coffee dates with my girlfriends, sitting happily in her pram or high chair, sometimes for a couple of hours, but I'm thinking that will likely soon become boring for her. And although she'll be starting daycare soon, that's still five months away. So on that note, I'm seriously considering taking up a recent offer to join a mothers' group. I guess what it comes down to is that there isn't anything I wouldn't do for my daughter.
